Being in a relationship — or even just being attracted to someone — has a weird way of affecting the way that we see the world around us. Things that would normally appear to us as red flags seem to be easily explained away or brushed a side. At times, we might even accept treatment that we’d never typically consider decent. Yes, it’s the delusion of love at its finest .
The worst thing that can happen to you when it comes to love is to delude yourself about your partner’s happiness when they’re with you. I ought to know — I did it to myself. Doing this only will cause you to be blindsided when he leaves or cause the problems that are making him unhappy to worsen until they no longer can be contained.
If you want to make sure you don’t fall into that trap, make sure to keep an eye out for the following warning signs he wants to break up with you.
1. He’s been clamming up and conversation often feels forced.
Does he stick to a script around you? Do you regularly have to fish for conversation topics or feel like you need to interrogate him just so that he will say something to you? A man who isn’t happy in his relationship generally won’t want to talk to his partner any more than he has to, and that means you should be worried.
2. You feel like you have to tiptoe around him in order to avoid making him leave.
Generally, if you have to walk on eggshells to keep him around you, it’s time to face the facts. By the time that this happens in a relationship, it’s almost always over.
3. He’s been picking arguments with you, criticizing you over every little thing, and just being a total jerk.
There are only two reasons why a man would do this to someone: he’s either an abuser who hates you, or is trying to get you to dump him. Either way, it’s best to drop him like a hot potato.
4. Trying to get him to be affectionate to you is Mission Impossible.
Men are always affectionate to the women they are attracted to as well as the women they are happy being with. If you literally have to force it, or worse, beg for him to be affectionate with you, he’s not happy being with you. In fact, this is one of the signs he wants to break up with you and that the relationship is dead.
5. Getting him to actually go out with you is like pulling teeth.
This is not an issue with any man that’s legitimately happy in his relationship. If you have to book time with him weeks in advance and regularly worry that he won’t even show up, it’s not that he’s too busy. Rather, it’s that he hates your company and has stopped making you a priority.
6. You often feel more alone with him than without him.
Generally speaking, if you feel this way about your relationship, it’s because this actually is the case. If you legitimately feel like he’s left you alone in your own relationship, the relationship can’t really be salvaged in most cases.
7. He’s started lashing out in anger or regularly complains about a particular aspect of your relationship.
Sometimes, it only takes one or two issues to really make a man feel miserable in his relationship with someone. If he regularly gets snippy around you over a particular subject, he’s not happy being with you and he’s telling you how to fix it.
8. You’ve noticed that he’s stopped inviting you as his “+1” at events.
He always used to bring you around his work dinners and friends’ weddings, but now, it’s nada. This is often done when he’s trying to “fade you out” from his social life and, eventually, leave.
9. He just seems agitated, upset, or annoyed all the time.
Though this could be a sign of depression , it also could be a sign that he’s really just not happy being with you. After all, people who like and enjoy their partners find joy in them.
10. He makes a lot of joking remarks about divorcing you or “leaving the moment the kids graduate.”
As bad as this may be to say, there’s often a lot of truth in humor. When you joke about something like this, it’s often because it’s something you’ve considered doing quite a bit. If he’s thinking about that so much, that’s a sign he’s not loving his life with you as much as you think he is.
11. When you’re together, he checks his cell phone, seems distant, and otherwise just looks like he’s forced to be there.
Have you ever been to a party that you really didn’t want to go to? You remember how you were thinking about trying to come up with an excuse to leave but couldn’t? This is the same thing except, rather than a party, it’s a relationship.
12. You’ve caught him making fun of you and saying really terrible things about you behind your back.
This is one of the signs that tells you that you need to break up immediately . At best, he has no respect for you and has no problem throwing you under the bus to make you look good. At worst, he feels miserable and trapped in the relationship but is too afraid to tell you the truth. Either way, this behavior should be an automatic dealbreaker.
13. Nothing you ever do seems good enough for him.
If you’re with a person that you don’t want to be with, feeling appreciative of anything they do will just not happen. There’s nothing that you can say or do that will make him be appreciative, no matter what you try. If you feel like all the sweet gestures you make are going unnoticed — or worse, are being torn apart — then it’s time to break things off . This isn’t a healthy or happy relationship.
14. His friends have started to act very icy towards you.
If his friends were always nice to you, but then they started to cool off or even snub you, this is a pretty bad sign. This suggests that your partner may have said some pretty awful things about you to them, particularly about the state of your relationship.
15. If you weren’t putting in any work, you’re not sure there would actually be a relationship at all.
Do you feel like the relationship you’re in requires you to do 90 percent of the work? If this is the case, he’s really not happy being with you, and he’s about to bail.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially if you still love them. Watch the video below for tips on how to end your relationship.
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